If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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