I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
