Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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