Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
