There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
What a dumb baby whore.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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