the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Actions speak louder than pants.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
