I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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