Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
