Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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