You really coming over, don't trick.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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