Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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