i think my mom watched the whole time
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
