Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
