She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
