I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
