i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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