The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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