i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
