why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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