Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
