In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize