a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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