i permit you to call me
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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