i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
