Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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