ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize