why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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