you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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