If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
