I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
