i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
