we have officially lost it.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
