Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
