I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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