I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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