smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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