'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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