Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
did you just send me my own nude
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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