Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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