I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
