yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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