mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
