Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
