Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
