i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just invented taco cereal.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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