Ambien. No doubt about it.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I can't turn off my feet"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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