What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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