How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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