just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
