Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize