I've blown a few things in my day
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
