hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
