Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
