not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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