I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
