i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
