he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
