You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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