your parents love me but you hate me
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
