not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There r osticjed everywhere
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
