i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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