Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
