I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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