Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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