He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
