I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I supernannyed him into submission
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
