wat bout pragnant strippers??
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
