have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
