I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
