You're so nebulous sometimes
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
