I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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