Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
