Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Randomize
